Why did nobody tell me that the no contact rule is hard to do? I came across it on YouTube after searching “ Get over my ex fast” and the no contact rule showed up multiple times and after listening to a few videos on the subject it sounded ideal and appeared to be the easiest and quickest way to stop this throbbing feeling that is ravaging away at my insides.
This heartbreak shit really hurts
The no contact rule is hard to do, I kid you not. It’s driving me insane that he can text me and I have to bite my tongue and the inside of my cheeks and sit on my hands so they are not tempted to reach for my phone and send him a barrage of deranged texts.
I am three weeks into the breakup and it hurts like hell, I miss the man I met but I don’t miss the man he changed into, the endless arguments,
I had fallen in love with a narcissist
Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
The no contact rule is hard for a reason
He is my addiction, I need my fix but he’s as dangerous to me as one last hit is to a recovering drug addict or one last drink is to an alcoholic. I know if I talk to him he will lovebomb me and manipulate his way back into my life, as he has done many times. Narcissists are very cunning creatures and are very hard to identify, it’s taken me almost a year and a half to figure out his true identity.
I should thank myself lucky that I revealed what he was as quickly as I did, I had suffered domestic abuse for eleven years in a past marriage and although I knew every red flag there was, I still fell for another abuser.
“Some narcissistic people end up believing their own lies.”
It was the lies that hurt the most, finding out he wasn’t where he said he was and wasn’t with who he said he was with. Was he cheating on me? I guess I will never know.
Why are narcissists so addictive and why is it so difficult to leave one?
I was a great candidate for a narcissist, I’m loving and caring and have always put others first. We met online and he had already read my previous blog, he knew things about me before I had told him, creepy maybe but he was so impressed with all I had achieved, especially knowing I was diagnosed with Bipolar and PTSD.
He was also aware I was a victim of domestic violence, he didn’t quite realise I stopped being a victim and became a survivor many years ago, but maybe that made me a target, thinking I was easy to manipulate and was a vulnerable single mother to 6.
I am an agony aunt to mothers all over the word. He saw my personality shine through online and sucked whatever energy I had left right out of me.
I soon gave everything I had worked hard to build away, to dedicate my time to him, caring for him, meeting his needs, while my own needs went unmet. He became my top priority while I was at the bottom of his list.
I prayed he would change back into the man I met. The one who came into my life like a tornado and swept me off my feet. Within weeks of
He looked into my eyes and told me he loved me, in his arms I felt safe. We had an instant connection, I had found my soul mate.
And just like that it stopped
And just like that he changed
This is why the no contact rule is hard, I crave the beginning of the relationships again.
Nothing I did or said was right, there was name calling and put downs and I struggled to understand this change in the man I loved.
I made excuses for him, brushed off his insults and hurtful words, he was stressed, in pain, just tired. He didn’t mean what he said, he would
But he was a narcissist and he was punishing me because I began questioning his behaviour and his many lies, how dare I?
I desperately crave the attention and love he gave me at the beginning. but I am learning it wasn’t real, he was a narcissist who was
I am going cold turkey and have established no contact with him but every part of my body and mind is screaming out for my fix of him.
I love him and that is why the no contact rule is hard to do, I am having to walk away from a man I am in love with, despite how much he has hurt me.
Have you experienced narcissistic abuse?
Have you been in a relationship with a narcissist?
Has anyone tried the no contact rule and what was the outcome?